A Problem with Today’s Parenting

Many parents try to be far better parents than their parents were, yet their children grow up feeling lost and empty. Discover why in this article. There was an interesting article in The Atlantic, entitled “How to Land Your Kid in Therapy: Why the obsession with our kids’ happiness may be dooming them to unhappy adulthoods. A therapist and mother reports.” The article is about the way many parents focus much of their energy on being there for their children, but their children end up feeling lost and empty. One of the issues I’ve written about extensively is that half of good parenting is being there for our children, and the … [Read more...]

Adolescence – Is It Harder On Parents Than On Adolescents?

I’ve read an interesting article in New York magazine recently that states that the period of life called adolescence can be harder on the parents of adolescents than it is on the adolescents themselves. The author of the article, Jennifer Senior (also author of the book, All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood), quotes a leading authority on puberty named Laurence Steinberg, a psychologist at Temple University and author of the book, Adolescence. Ms. Senior writes, It doesn’t seem to me like adolescence is a difficult time for the kids,” Steinberg says. “Most adolescents seem to be going through life in a very pleasant haze.” … [Read more...]

Moods – Yours And Your Teenage Daughter’s

One morning I woke up feeling moody because I was really looking forward to a long earned “sleep in.” Instead, I opened my eyes far earlier than planned to a loud workman’s voice. It was an immediate bummer. I told myself, let it go. Then my husband walked in our bedroom and asked for something that required me getting up, before I was really awake. You can imagine how happy I was inside my head. I share this with you because this was the simple but also toxic trigger that almost ruled my morning. I’m sure some of you can relate to this scenario. As our teenagers stretch themselves to be seen, heard and known, they too are easily swayed by … [Read more...]

Why Do Teenagers Seem To Take It All Out On Their Parents?

By Karen Vincent I have heard so many parents say that they do not understand how their teenager can behave for teachers, with their friend's parents, with relatives but not with them. This often causes parents to question their parenting abilities and can create a lot of negative feelings between parent and teenager. What is likely happening if you are in this situation, is that you are receiving the biggest backhanded compliment from your teenager. It feels more just like a backhand period...but it many ways, it really is a compliment. What happens is that teenagers walk around confused, unsure and often feeling out of control much of … [Read more...]

Listening To Your Teenager – Tips For This Important Skill That Can Improve Your Relationship

By Karen Vincent A parenting skill that is very powerful with teenagers is Listening. I know... this can seem like a very basic and obvious skill, however, this is not necessarily the case and this can be a tricky skill with teenagers sometimes. The reason for this is because it can be scary for teenagers to think about how much they need you and rely on you as their parent or guardian. Think about how much energy they spend pushing you away in an effort to prove how much they DON'T need you (which FYI they are trying to prove to themselves more than to anyone else). Because of this, it is important for parents to take advantage of the … [Read more...]

The Next Level of Parenting

By Nicholeen Peck So many people ask me how to take their parenting to the next level, even with their out-of-control children. A man I really admire named Jeffrey Holland said, "... the only real control in life is self-control." True self-control is the next level of parenting. Here's why. You can control the settings on your computer, and control the television choices that come into your home. You can control all the things written down as your Family Standard and you can control what your family eats for dinner, but you can't control another person. No matter how hard you try and how much power you try to look like you have, the … [Read more...]

Parenting Teenage Girls – Aim For Parental Influence, Not Control

When you're parenting teenage girls (or, for that matter, teenage boys) your goal or aim as a parent is to exercise your parental influence, not necessarily control. Trying to control your teenager, even if she isn't particularly strong-willed, will not work and isn't healthy for her, either. The topic of parental influence vs. control is one I had to struggle with myself, as I was brought up with a parenting style that fit more in the "dominator" than the "partnership" model and I didn't want to repeat that pattern with my own kids. I grew up in the sixties and seventies and my mother was definitely controlling. I think the combination of … [Read more...]

How To Stop Arguing With Your Teenager

Besides telling your teenage daughter every single day that you love her (the importance of which I have written about here), refraining from arguing with her is another major step a parent can take that will do wonders for both teenage self-esteem as well as the parent-teen relationship. Not arguing includes refraining from raising your voice, cursing, and using any kind of insulting language. In fact, a recent study (that Dr. Joseph Mercola, MD has written an article on just last week) suggests that arguing, criticizing and using harsh verbal language is counterproductive and can make your child even more defiant. Not only that, it also … [Read more...]

Friend or Parent?

By Expert Contributor Desiree Phillips. As I write this first article for Parenting Teenage Girls magazine, I can’t help but think of the person who influenced me the most as a teenager, above all others. It was my Mom. She was the best parent and what every daughter hopes for when she reflects on her childhood and teen years.  I’m proud of the life choices and lessons I’ve learned thanks to her invaluable guidance.  She instinctively knew how to love deeply, be vulnerable with me while teaching and to hold the line on tough issues.  She had an unwavering sense of knowing what was needed, when. And when sometimes we learned things … [Read more...]