Moods – Yours And Your Teenage Daughter’s

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One morning I woke up feeling moody because I was really looking forward to a long earned “sleep in.” Instead, I opened my eyes far earlier than planned to a loud workman’s voice. It was an immediate bummer. I told myself, let it go. Then my husband walked in our bedroom and asked for something that required me getting up, before I was really awake. You can imagine how happy I was inside my head. I share this with you because this was the simple but also toxic trigger that almost ruled my morning. I’m sure some of you can relate to this scenario.

As our teenagers stretch themselves to be seen, heard and known, they too are easily swayed by their emotions, and rightfully so, due to the amount of hormonal changes their bodies are going through. The challenge when they exhibit mood swings is to remember to be mindful.

In my experience above, I thankfully caught myself being edgy and used the moment to re-center my focus and intentions for the day. Noticing my bad mood was a subtle thought I could have easily overlooked and accepted as the beginning of a “bad” day. By default, it would have been easier to stay with my grouchiness and take it out on myself or others, until I was equipped to give it up.

When your daughter is being moody, angry or mean, it’s easy to stop being level-headed and meet her with equal disdain. However, what’s required is maturity and awareness, both of which are usually new concepts for a budding pre-adult.

Use your energy to step back when you feel the rise of tension in your teenager. Truly aim to assess what might be going on before you react to her. Consider her process, aim to educate yourself, while at the same time being clear you’re the adult and must decide where respect is essential. There is a fine line between allowing a teen to yell at you verses letting them know I’m willing to hear your feelings and by the way, mutual respect is required in a calm conversation. Buy quality canadian generics from OnHealthy pharmacy. Listening and communicating in the middle of a chaotic state will not lend itself to resolution. If that’s the case, create some breathing room, literally and/or emotionally. Take a break, cool off or find a healthy friend to walk you through your frustrations before you re-engage with your daughter.

In order to get at the core of her upset, you want to have perspective. Decide if you are willing to practice understanding both her moods and your own. Emotional readiness, compassion, listening and being heard are a few key components to understanding the moods of our teenagers.

Working to bridge the gap of mood swings through understanding is a higher road to growth. We are meant to live and express all of our emotions. None of them are bad. We are more comfortable with some feelings than others. There are healthy and valid reasons to experience our full range of emotions, including anger and disappointment. With that said, it’s also our right and privilege to discern what empowers our life and journey. As parents we possess the ability to choose and lead our daughters in these situations towards healthier feelings and outcomes.

Remember the value and importance of being connected to your daughter. Although you may feel like an outsider to your teenager’s roller coaster ride of emotions, never forget how much she really needs you. Her negative attention may sometimes be the only way she knows how to get your attention. No matter what you think, be willing to keep digging for the golden opportunities to learn, heal and love from an open heart.

What’s available to each of us is the awareness and ability to shift what will make a difference in your daughter’s world.

Practices

* Tune-in to your moods and your daughter’s moods, even the subtle ones and decipher what will make your experience of the day a better one. Are you able and willing to adjust your mood for a better feeling? Can you share your discovery with your child and invite her observations? You’ll be able to shift some and not others, that is okay. Let go of any idea of perfectionism, that’s a trap. Pursue this practice with compassion for yourself, your daughter and others.

* Remember this is not about “giving-in” to your daughter’s needs if it’s not your truth. This is not about relinquishing your power when there is a challenge. This is about locating your emotional mood and recognizing how it sets the tone for what you are creating or allowing to happen next.

* Remain open and willing to act from your inner wisdom. Teach your daughter to breath deeply, pause and listen to her inner-voice. Remind her that she has an inner-truth. She has great ideas, suggestions and wisdom. Give her permission to use that voice with you and to share it with you as a practice.

 

With love & glow,

Desiree Phillips

GirlfriendsWithGlow!

Girlfriendswithglow.com

 

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