By Ashley Taylor of DisabledParents.org
As you go through life with a disability, you become used to dealing with the outside world, its views of you, and how to redirect people’s misguided assumptions.
However, once you become a parent, the game completely changes. When you have a baby, people look past you to try and figure out where the parent is. They also sometimes overstep their boundaries and put too much effort into letting you know what a great job you are doing, “considering.”
There are some similarities between parents with and without disabilities. While a day in the life of a parent with disabilities has some differences, in most aspects, they are just like every other parent. For instance, once you have an infant in tow, getting around is a lot more work whether you have a disability or not. Plus, the blessings of being a parent are universal.
Parenting Throughout The Teenage Years
Every parent also knows the game completely changes as your child enters their teenage years. Their changing bodies and growing independence become new terrain to navigate. While every kid has their own experience, many view their teenage years as a time for rebellion.
Parents have to deal with preparing for college, their burgeoning sexuality, and changes in personality as they begin to explore what in life matters to them. Then, you also have to deal with newfound, challenging behaviors like lying, experimenting with drugs or alcohol, shoplifting, sullenness, and self-harm. Teen girls, in particular, are more likely to self-harm than boys.
Raising a Teen Girl as a Parent with Disabilities
According to a study conducted by the Department of Education’s National Institute on Disability Rehabilitation and Research (NIDRR), while the younger years are more physically intensive for parents with disabilities, the teen years are intensive in other ways. Surveys found that families where the parent has a disability are more likely to live below the poverty line, even if they live under similar conditions as others in their community. The disparity is likely because “parents with disabilities are less likely to be employed full time or part time” and there is insufficient support for the parent both as a head of household and in the workforce.
Because of these setbacks, those with disabilities often find their teenage children have to take on more responsibility around the house. There are many reasons why teenagers behave the way they do. Sometimes when they are given too much responsibility, they act out as a response. One way to help reel in your teen daughter’s behavior is to consider making a few adjustments to safeguard around the house. You may want to consider the following safeguards:
- Have a computer security professional install safeguards to protect your identity.
- Use online activity trackers to monitor your teen daughter’s web presence and search history.
- Install alarms on doors and windows that alert you if she tries to sneak out.
- Buy motion-activated security cameras that turn on if there is unusual activity.
- Place locks on liquor cabinets as well as anywhere you may keep prescription drugs—especially the kind that are commonly abused for recreational purposes.
When you are a parent with a disability, many of the initial challenges you may face include dealing with the assumptions made by others and those present because of physical limitations. However, in the end you face the same struggles as most other parents.
Most parents find that the issues start to change as a child becomes a teenager, especially with adolescent girls who are more likely to participate in destructive behavior like self-harm. Parents with disabilities may find that their teenage daughters rebel as a reaction to struggles—like money problems—at home. To help protect your daughter, consider safeguards around the home that monitor their web presence, alert you regarding unusual behavior, and keep her from getting her hands on dangerous substances.
Speak Your Mind